成长

在杭州呆了一个多星期，住在西湖附近的玉皇山路，步行十分钟到雷锋塔。头一天下午刚到，我就冒雨去了西湖。烟雾弥漫，景色很美，就像一幅画，我以为自己就是许仙。接下来的几天里，我抽空登雷锋、越苏堤、跨断桥、拜灵隐，随后还借主办方探良渚、祭孔庙，遗憾只是一路走马观花。

最后的两天，我是在西湖天地的辛巴克度过的。硕大的玻璃橱窗外头就是西湖，景致极佳。离开辛巴克的那天下午，结账时小姑娘非要给我积分，我说我今天就回家了，算了。她一听来劲了，问我从哪来，我告她山西。她更来劲了，问我山西的首都是哪！我一听差点尿了。心想，这马上就国庆了，你问我这问题是不是不想活啦？然后小姑娘还是求知欲很强的问我，平遥古城在不在你们那儿，我说在；乔家大院在不在你们那儿，我说在。然后她又我问，那你们首都在哪啊？这回我真生气了，我告她：省会在太原！出了辛巴克，我心想山西啊山西，你咋就这么落后啊。你都沦落到被人家都问你首都在哪的地步。你看看人家杭州的辛巴克，脱鞋的脱鞋，抠脚的抠脚，带小三的有，街坊们家长里短的也有，最牛的是大爷大妈买完包子还要顺便来喝几杯咖啡，俨然已经发展到了麦当劳时代，而我省城人民还在苦等辛巴克落户太原，差距啊……

刚到杭州的那天，一位同行问我是哪的，我说山西。她说山西好有钱啊。我说那是煤老板，和我没关系。但我马上告诉她，煤老板就要消失了，山西出台了新政策，明年要把全省3000多座煤矿整编成100家特大型煤矿，实际上就是赎买、国有化，山西将无煤老板！当天回到酒店，我和同舍（也是山西人）说起这事，我说这让我想起了50年代的公司合营，我感到很不安。他说早该整编这帮煤老板了，这帮人拿着国民的资源肥了自己的腰包，老百姓得到什么实惠了？房价全是他们炒起来的……我沉默了。难怪面对这一揽子赎买计划，整个社会都表现的异常安静，可想而知煤老板在当下的社会基础。我也不想替他们鸣不平，因为我没有得到过煤的实惠，我只是关心权利——财产权。回来的路上恰好看到《南方周末》9月24日版一篇题为《煤老板的财产权也应该得到尊重》的短评论，说出了我的想法。评论下方还配有一幅漫画，标题为《煤老板，你往哪里跑》，看了让人想笑，可又笑不出来。赎买之后，这一群体手中所持的数千亿资金会流向何方，是个未知数。省府有没有配合这次整改，出台相关配套措施把资金留住，发挥民营经济的作用，加快山西产业结构调整？我们也不得而知。

Michael Jackson: Life Of A Pop Icon

By Neda Ulaby

June 25, 2009 - Singer Michael Jackson, the man known as the King of Pop to legions of fans around the globe, who lived most of his extraordinary life in the public eye, died Thursday in Los Angeles after going into cardiac arrest. He was 50 years old.

Los Angeles paramedics responded to a call at Jackson's Holmby Hills home at 12:30 p.m. PT Thursday. He was not breathing. Paramedics performed CPR and took him to the nearby Ronald Reagan UCLA Medical Center, where he was pronounced dead. (More details)

Jackson had been rehearsing for his first major concert tour in 12 years, scheduled to begin in London next month. However, there had been speculation that he would not be up to the task physically. In 2005, he had appeared gaunt and weak during his trial on child molestation charges. He later admitted an addiction to painkillers. After his acquittal, he kept a low profile, spending time in Bahrain, Ireland and France.

A Childhood In The Limelight

It used to be that Jackson's talent was the most compelling thing about him, says music critic Jody Rosen.

"I think 'I Want You Back' is one of the greatest pop singles I've ever heard," Rosen says.

"I Want You Back" was the hit single that famously thrust a young Michael Jackson and four of his brothers from the Gary, Ind., talent show circuit to world fame. Their grimly focused father put Michael on stage at age 5. The child, says Rosen, somehow channeled the gifts of vastly more seasoned performers.

"He had a very gritty voice at that time, which is strange, given that as he grew older, he started to sing more and more like a pre-pubescent little boy," Rosen says. "And when he was a pre-pubescent little boy, he was singing like a soul elder statesman."

The Jackson 5 had four No. 1 singles in a row, as well as a TV show; the group toured constantly. This was all under the guidance of Motown Records founder Berry Gordy, who had a genius for crossover — molding black artists into mainstream stars. But Gordy told NPR's Liane Hansen in 1994 that young Michael had a regular childhood.

"Oh, we played baseball every week. We did all kinds of fun things," Gordy said. "I think it's been overdramatized about his lack of fun, having no childhood. He had a childhood."

That account is disputed by Jackson biographers.

Rosen says, "There are stories of the Jackson 5 on the road and all the older brothers cavorting with groupies, while young Michael Jackson — 10, 11, 12 years old — sat in a corner and hung out."

Jackson's years at Motown were a study in manipulation and control. Like Stevie Wonder and Marvin Gaye before him, Jackson rebelled. He left Motown and took his first adult solo album to another label. But on the surface, Rosen says, Jackson morphed from child star to pop idol with apparent ease.

'Don't Stop 'Til You Get Enough'

"At the time, his transition to adulthood really did seem seamless," Rosen says. "He was a disco-era prince. This was 1979. He was this beautiful young man, and he was recording these dance songs which married the music of the disco era and the emphasis on party anthems with the feeling of classic soul."

The break from Motown paid off with a new kind of rhythm and blues, says Jason King, a professor at New York University. King says in Jackson's album Off the Wall, you can hear a euphoric sense of freedom.

"Absolutely it was his declaration of independence," King says. "He had a particular vision of himself doing these funk up-tempo dance numbers and the ballads he had done as a child — but to do them on his own."

With the help of producer Quincy Jones, Off the Wall scored four Top 10 hits. But King says for Jackson, that wasn't enough.

"He wanted to do something that would cross over even more — that was his dream, his ambition," King says. "All of the major Motown artists had the same ambition, which was upward mobility, crossover — reach as high as you can."

In 1983, Michael Jackson's Thriller became the top-selling album in the world. Critic Rosen says Jackson's restless crossover ambitions were realized with Thriller, especially with "Beat It."

"Jackson hired Eddie Van Halen — who at the time was hard rock's reigning guitar hero — to play this goofy heavy metal solo," Rosen says. "And that also helped get him on MTV, which, prior to that time, had been the domain almost exclusively of white artists."

Jackson changed MTV for black artists and for music video auteurs, who admired his skill with the medium. But NYU's King says Jackson was driven to top his own success.

"[His success] became an impossible goal because Thriller sold such an incredible amount of copies," King says.

Fall From Grace

Jackson released more records, but sales declined precipitously. Jackson's music got denser and more baroque, his behavior more erratic. His videos and performances became bloated, multimillion-dollar affairs. And then came the charges of child molestation.

For comedians like Chris Rock, Michael Jackson became a punch line.

"Another kid? That's like another dead white girl showing up at OJ's house," Rock once joked in a comedy routine.

Or an extended riff.

"Another kid, get the [expletive] out here," Rock said. "Yo, that's how much we love Michael. We love Michael so much we let the first kid slide."

We've loved Michael Jackson, been horrified by him and we've pitied him.

Not long ago, Rosen was at a nightclub. Everyone there was too cool to dance. Then the DJ started spinning Jackson's early hits, one after the other.

"As soon as he started playing those, the dance floor was stampeded," Rosen says. "The longer it went on, the more ecstatic the crowd got, and everyone was dancing. That's the image I'd like to remember MJ by: just sheer joy generated by his best music."

The Michael Jackson in his mind, Rosen says, was not a has-been, a controversy or a joke. He was a genius.

死亡是一个忌讳的话题，然而《入殓师》让我们看到了一个人的生前和生后；死亡不是结束，而是新的开始。入殓师就是从结束到开始的媒介，师傅们的一招一式、一举一动，告诉活着的人如何去尊敬死者。他们只是离开了这一世，到了另一界，离开是一种解脱。

小林的妻子美香得知丈夫小林一直瞒着自己在做入殓师后，暂时的离开了小林。这期间小林并没有放弃，反而对职业有了更深的体会，更加坚定了自己的信念。这不是简单的工作，而是一种使命，死者和家属需要他们。向《入殓师》致敬！

每个人都无法回避死亡，亲人的、朋友的，但最终还是要面对自己；所以知道了什么是死，才懂得如何是活。

作者: 程西泠  来源:南方人物周刊

    在这个快速发展、美女如云的世界，最重要的是她背后是否有一个大佬。如果你想凭一颗坚毅的、诚实的心混成个艺术家、歌唱家，恐怕已经很难了 

    台湾歌手阿桑去年10月罹患乳癌晚期，4月6日上午8时，病逝于台北新店慈济医院，年仅34岁。阿桑凭借演唱偶像剧《蔷薇之恋》的片尾曲《叶子》一炮而红，去世之前发行过两张专辑。作为歌手的阿桑在去世后才猛然为人关注，不得不说是某种悲剧。

    阿桑并非一帆风顺的的娇娇女。她出身平凡，高中毕业后背负房贷、车贷，为了赚钱补贴家用，在艺工队待了5年，后自组乐团在酒吧驻唱，被经纪人汪一平发掘其音乐才能，辞去酒吧工作准备出片。而在等待发片的过程中，为维持生活，也当过律师事务所的总机与百货公司的客服播音小姐。她也算是“跨界英雄”了。作为歌手的阿桑，最喜欢的乐器是吉他和钢琴，她想学钢琴，“可是没有钱”。

    “我是什么事情都往自己肚子里吞”，阿桑性格其实是多愁善感，“但总也告诉自己要坚强”。心思敏感，自然悲喜变幻，“起起落落很大”。想必在感情生活上也极为不顺利。

    也不知道真假，说阿桑在患病赴美国期间交了新男友，原本计划今年要结婚。她去世时，据说这位男友甚至没来得及见她最后一面。

她生前并无大红，相貌清秀，颇有风情，却不是妖娆或者活泼之人，几乎没有绯闻，怕是因为不是老板心腹、公司主推的可人。转往大陆发展，靠接商演为主要经济来源。但内地的商业演出并不十分规范。她究竟在这样一个江湖里获得多少利益，我们无从得知。每一个成功的女性，背后都有一个大佬。过去的梅艳芳背后有向华胜，TWINS、容祖儿背后有杨受成，所以可以理解为什么大美人李嘉欣整天缠着有钱人。平凡女生行走名利场，在一个完全依靠金钱和权势构筑的世界试图进退有余、仰俯自得，委实为难她了，也为难了其他和她一样的对文艺心怀梦想、与虎谋皮的女性。

    阿桑本名黄嬿璘，如果一直用这个名，怕是在纷繁的歌坛中不易为人所记。因此，公司为她取了艺名叫“阿桑”，这个桑，固然是“沧桑”的桑，用粤语发音也就是“伤”。阿桑与其说死于癌，不是说是死于寂寞。从她的几首歌看来，只是普通的流行歌，但她的诠释不可不谓伤感，深沉。

    阿桑的经纪人汪一平前几日表示：“很少有人知道阿桑会作曲，本来计划新专辑都是她自己写歌。”作为歌手的阿桑究竟还有多少才能没有绽放，已经无从知道。就像许美静，她身后的制作人同时也是她的爱人，一个能够为她量身定做了那么多经典流行歌曲的男人。他理解她的声音，他的唯一缺点是已婚。有一段时间，许美静被传出发疯，冲出去扬言自己是上帝。于是我们知道，这些多情的，又不具有惊人美貌的女人多少是有点疯癫的，我们于是更加忌惮她们了。

    这个快速发展、美女如云的世界，最重要的是她背后的男人站的是谁，她背后是否有一个大佬。如果你想凭一颗坚毅的、诚实的心混成个艺术家、歌唱家，恐怕已经很难了。世风渐下，人心不古，我们不能要求女星们像阮玲玉一样刚烈。阿娇就是大老板不肯放弃的一个棋子，她虽然看起来不那么实诚，可是她很乖，很听话，动不动就哭哭啼啼的，很容易收买。她究竟会不会唱歌，会不会演戏，这有什么重要呢？芸芸众生，一个人的死究竟有多重要呢？世界这么凉薄。身后那么多好朋友，恍然大悟过去不曾关心阿桑，都已经太迟了，太迟了。她最终没来得及向世人证明，她对歌唱，对声音的理解，究竟到了一个什么样的程度。

    我知道当年的散文作家梁遇春，多做死亡之清谈，后来也死得很早，让人惋惜。诗人徐志摩，写了《想飞》这样的诗，不久后乘坐的飞机坠毁。唐代诗人刘希夷，写了“明年花开复谁在”、“岁岁年年人不同”后，不到一年，为人所杀。阿桑的成名曲《叶子》，“叶子是不会飞翔的翅膀”，也是以年轻时期的死亡作为主题。可见世间万事，都有玄机。所以奉劝年轻的音乐创作者，不要做太多悲歌，不要对死亡这么执着，我们没有神佛护身，只怕一语成谶。 

春游回来一个星期了，几天来我平均每天在店里要呆10个小时，工作时间达到了12个小时以上。每天我都要面对几十张新老面孔，要不停的聊天，要陪着朋友说笑，陪着大伙吃喝，要不停的纠正员工的错误，了解员工的想法，调整员工的心态，要想着第二天需要备的原料，需要打理的邻里关系，以及需要巴结的领导。小小的十五平方米，将近十个员工，该做的一样都少不了。

唯一让我欣慰的是，预计在今年6月底实现的目标，如果不出意外，会在这个月底基本实现。然而这点账面成绩，背后付出的却是相对高额的成本代价，包括钱和人力。每天晚上当我拖着这条疲惫的肉体回到许西时，我都会傻坐在台灯下，什么都不想得呆几分钟，喝点难以下咽的蟑螂水，我只想褪去这一天的喧闹，独受片刻的宁静。

想到，很多时候身边学弟学妹们投来的溢美之词，看到他们抛来的羡慕眼神。那一刹那的快意让我很错觉，我问自己：是因为我才有了山大店，还是因为山大店才有了我。然而这一切从来都不那么重要。其实，每当夜深人静的时候，我都很担忧，莫名的惶恐，因为我知道这不是我想要的生活。惰性正在一步一步的蔓延， 耐心正在一点一点的减少，最关键的是大把大把青春正在一天一天的蒸发，而我，还是我自己，我依旧什么都不是。

有时候我一直在想，为什么要写博客？是我太自信，自信得要把自己传达给外界？还是我太自卑，自卑得需要别人的理解？想来想去，其实都不是，是因为我很孤独，孤独得不敢去面对，面对内心的孤独，一如我一直都活在自己的世界里。想起了刚刚看过的电影《对话尼克松》，起初当英国记者戴维问及关于“水门事件”的时候，尼克松都想尽办法回避。然而，他躲过了记者的追问，却终究躲不过自己内心深处的责罚。当把这一切都讲出来，和自己做一个清算的时候，他不是失败者，他战胜了自己。

早就想看这部电影，可不知道怎么就忘了，直到看到了王书亚在《南方人物周刊》的影评才想起来。很喜欢看他写的影评，但错就错在先看了影评。

每个人都是鲜活的，每个人背后都有一段故事，或为人知或不为人知，一个人就是一个世界，这是我耍单儿一年多来体会最深的。我不曾想走进身边每个人的世界，可我却像一个观众，被他们的喜怒哀乐感染着，也被自己感动着。我时常在想，还有多远的世界，是我未曾到达的；也时常在想，我最后要到达的，在多远的世界。